God’s Letter to Michelle Baachman
Today I was inspired to write some poetical rants about Guns, and God. America s a strange country, especially to an atheist like me. I grew up in Berkeley, California in an atheist household so I just don’t get people like Michelle Bachman at all. And especially how she and her ilk are so convinced that God wanted Donald Trump, the most ungodly of all recent politicians to be president.
I also don’t get the NRA and their insistence especially on days like today that the solution to the mass carnage in our society is more guns for everyone. There is a sickness in our society that the gun violence is merely a symptom.
I don’t have any answers to any of this just lots of doubts and questions about why if there is a God and God is all knowing and loving he permits such acts of evil. This is one of many reasons I am not a Christian believer.
Before getting to my rants on Guns and God, I’d like to offer my thoughts on a sane gun law policy. If Australia could do it and New Zealand could why or why can’t we do it?
My proposal would be to require all gun owners to be licenses and insured just like we require for all drivers. If someone is involved in a fire arm offense they would be sent to prison for ten years. If someone is charged with domestic violence offenses they would be banned from owning a gun. There would be universal background checks of course as well and military assault weapon bans. And the CDC and others would conduct studies into how to prevent gun violence.
90 percent of the public support these positions. So why do we tolerate such nonsense anymore?
Any time the NRA makes an stupid statement like “Guns Don’t Kill people,” the public will simply say to the NRA -STFU and offer real solutions otherwise go to hell with your prayers for those shot by the guns you promote. Just STFU..
That’s it in a nutshell. If you disagree that is fine with me. It is still a free country after all.
Now to the rants!!!!
Some people might find this a bit offensive. So, you are warned ahead of time. read at your own risk.
End trigger alert
I fell asleep and imagined God writing a letter to Michelle Bachman and posting it FB and tweeter. It went something like this:
Letter from God to Michelle Bachmann
Dear Michelle Bachmann
I am in receipt of your prayers and the prayers of your followers regarding Donald Trump. I want to set the record straight once and for all so I figured I would post a face book posting, and tweet this as well.
Donald Trump is not the most biblical President ever. In fact, he is the poster child for all that is wrong with you people. I can’t figure you people out. I have been trying to for thousands of years.
Yes, the bible was written by men but I hoped it was divinely inspired as was the Koran and the Buddhist scriptures and ancient American Indian prophecies. I have been trying to set you guys straight since since I created you.
Yet you get everything wrong. You are the most delusional creatures in the known universe and there are thousands of other intelligent creatures in the universe. You are the worst of the lot by far.
So, let’s count the ways in which Donald Trump is biblical, shall we?
hmm found of locking up children in cages because he does not like their parents. that is let’s see where in the bible? nowhere. that’s where.
oh, here’s another one – a serial abuser of woman, and children and adults and basically everyone. How is that biblical? it is not.
He is a con man pure and simple. how is that biblical? it is not. not at all
love one another? not something that Donald Trump talks about. why is that?
He is a racist pure and simple. I created the human race in many different colors and shapes and many different belief systems and told you to have a good relationship with one another. Not to call one another names. Not to demonize one another. Not to put people into concentration camps.
that is not my thing. I am merciful and the God of Love after all. Perhaps that is Satan’s thing. he does exist you know? can’t have good without evil.
well I digress. Let’s see. Does God vote? Nope. I leave that to you humans and pray that you get it right. You got it wrong with Donald Trump.
Do I send storms and hurricanes to show my displeasure? Nope that is not my way.
Do I tell you how to think? Nope. Free will and all that Jazz.
Did I anoint Donald Trump? Nope not in a million years.
Do I talk to preachers like Jim Baaker? Nope I don’t talk to idiots.
Is Donald Trump my candidate? Nope. If I could have voted I would have voted for the Barack dude. I like him and his family values….
Oh, another thing. Donald Trump is not under demonic attack. that is not how things work. people who see demons everywhere at work are mentally ill in my opinion and should see a doctor.
your statement that
We have never seen a president under more attack, more undeserved attack, but I think it’s because, again, of the day that we live in, the deception that we live in, and the demonic presence of so many evil things in our society,” she added. “He deserves our prayers. He needs our prayers. And, again, God will answer those prayers. He answered those prayers before for us and we need to not just sit back because he’s done godly things, we need to be very active and lift up his arms [just as] Arron and Miriam lifted up Moses’ arms. This is the fellow that God has made our president. He’s not only leading us in the United States to the greatest level of prosperity, to the greatest level of blessing toward Israel—he’s put us on a path of blessing like no other president ever has—but because of the times we live in, we need him more than ever to listen to godly counsel, which he has. He has some of the godliest people surrounding him that I have ever seen, so he is deserving of that level of prayer and support and we need to provide that for him.”
made me laugh. It is so far from reality that I want to know what you are smoking. God does like to get high you know and you must be smoking some good shit.
Seriously, how could you possibly believe anything of this? Israel and Palestinian issues are a mess and Donald Trump by siding with the Israelis have made everything a thousand times worst. His middle east peace plan is a joke.
Again, I did not make Donald Trump President. You guys did. I don’t have a vote in that – free will and all that Jazz.
I did not lift up Aaron and Miriam’s arms and if you try with me I will die laughing.
listening to Godly counsel? He has not. Donald Trump listens to only one person = himself because he thinks he is the smartest person in the universe. He ain’t, in fact he is one of the stupidest people I have ever seen. Proof perhaps that evolution works in weird ways. I certainly did not have anything to do with it other than setting evolution in motion billions of years ago.
Michelle, Donald Trump is not surrounded by Godly people. I ought to know. he is surrounded by yes men, con men, liars, spin masters and stupid people. all corrupt to the core.
there is afraid not much that can be done with him. Even if I appeared before him, he would not listen to me because well he thinks he is smarter than me. he is not but that is another story.
Now Michele, I want to make a deal with you and all your friends on the far right.
Please I beg you quit talking shit about Donald Trump as if he is the second coming of Christ. he ain’t. And my left wing friends quit calling him another Hitler or the anti-Christ. He’s ain’t that either.
but he is a clown, a dangerous con man, an asshole, and may very well lead to the destruction of your country if he is re-elected. How do I know that? I am God and I can see a million possible futures, but it works like this – every person in the universe makes up their own minds about stuff like this and it is sort of organic. Things happen and there are consequences but there are millions of possible futures and millions of possible timelines. and in all the timelines I look at the possibility that Donald Trump would become a Great President and lead America to greatness is zero.
So please I beg you, quit your prayers to me about Donald Trump, I am no longer listening to them and have blocked them from reaching me. I have your number and the number of your followers blocked. I have so many other things to worry about. God is a pretty busy dude you know.
Finally, Michelle, please do this old man a favor and just STFU before I am tempted to smite you to Hell and beyond. You know that God is a vengeful God when you people piss me off enough and boy are you getting close to that with this Donald Trump was anointed by God BS you are selling. It ain’t working I’m not buying that shit. So again just STFU.
Michele Bachmann: Trump Deserves Prayer and Support Because He’s ‘The Most Biblical President’ Ever
Kyle MantylaBy Kyle Mantyla | July 29, 2019 10:32 am
Former Minnesota congresswoman and current Religious Right “pastor to the United Nations” Michele Bachmann appeared on the American Pastors Network’s “Stand In The Gap” radio program last week, where she declared (again) that President Trump is deserving of continual prayer and support from Christian conservatives because “he is, without a doubt, the most biblical president I have ever seen”—for which, she said, he has come under constant demonic attack.
“I want your listeners to know, never before have I ever seen a more pro-Israel president,” Bachmann said. “He is, without a doubt, the most biblical president I have ever seen. I’m going to repeat that: he is the most biblical president I have ever seen in what he does. His actions are remarkable and I would ask the audience to please pray for him continually.”
“We have never seen a president under more attack, more undeserved attack, but I think it’s because, again, of the day that we live in, the deception that we live in, and the demonic presence of so many evil things in our society,” she added. “He deserves our prayers. He needs our prayers. And, again, God will answer those prayers. He answered those prayers before for us and we need to not just sit back because he’s done godly things, we need to be very active and lift up his arms [just as] Arron and Miriam lifted up Moses’ arms. This is the fellow that God has made our president. He’s not only leading us in the United States to the greatest level of prosperity, to the greatest level of blessing toward Israel—he’s put us on a path of blessing like no other president ever has—but because of the times we live in, we need him more than ever to listen to godly counsel, which he has. He has some of the godliest people surrounding him that I have ever seen, so he is deserving of that level of prayer and support and we need to provide that for him
God Does Not Talk to Idiots
There is another outrageous statement
From this preacher or that preacher
Saying that God spoke to them
And told them that Trump
Was anointed by God himself
And would bring us all to the promised land
Well I hate to bring it up
But felt that I must
If God exists
And is all powerful
Why would he waste his time
Talking to these idiot preachers?
And why would he anoint Trump
The most ungodly of all politicians
How do these preachers know
It is God calling
Does God speak to them?
And what does God sound like?
How did God talk to them?
On the phone? By email? By tweet
Or by visions or voices in their head?
Or are they just raving lunatics
Who think that God is calling them?
God does not in my opinion
Talk to idiots
Nor should he tolerate these fools any more
God does not send us hurricanes or tornados
To punish us
That is beneath his pay grade
God is god and is mysterious
And if he speaks to us at all
We surely do not understand
Anything he says
As we have surely screwed up
The teachings of his prophets
So, I wish to end this by saying
Oh, you false prophets
God is not calling you
And never has
Just SFTU already
God Did Not Anoint Donald Trump
A found poem
Sarah Huckabee Sanders says God Wanted Donald Trump to Become President”
It’s one thing when pastors and employees of Christian schools
insist that Donald Trump
was God’s pick for president.
It’s quite another
when you have the White House Press Secretary
as Sarah Huckabee Sanders did today
on the Christian Broadcasting Network.
How does she know the mind of God I wonder?
Did God talk to her on the phone?
Is God male or female?
Is God a Christian?
Is God a Muslim?
Is God White?
Does Sara Sanders know?
Does anyone know?
In an interview with CBN’s David Brody
and Jennifer Wishon,
Sanders said God
“wanted Donald Trump
to become president.”
BRODY: “From a spiritual perspective,
for such a time as this,
Donald Trump of all people,
as you said earlier
in the interview,
the most conservative president,
does it kind of blow
your mind that someone
like Donald Trump
who is sitting in the Oval Office,
I know you can list the accomplishments,
(please Sara do tell us of his great accomplishments)
but at the same time
just from a spiritual perspective
there are a lot of Christians
who believe that
for such a time as this …”
SANDERS: “I think God
calls all of us
to fill different roles
at different times
and I think
that he wanted Donald Trump
to become president,
and that’s why he’s there
and I think
he has done a tremendous job
a lot of the things
that people of faith
really care about.”
Like for instance, locking up children in cages
Because they are dangerous brown people
And appointing judges
Who want to jail woman
For having abortions
And believe that God
Decides whether a woman
Will have a child
I assume she meant stuff like that
Things that are not found in the bible
But what do I know
I am just a godless atheist
From Berkeley of all places
AS CBS News noted,
Sanders wasn’t pressed
on whether she believes God
selected previous presidents,
including Barack Obama.
Shame on Brody
for that missed opportunity,
would have been a perfectly
After all Sara
must know whether God
is a good Republican
Supply side Jesus
as some people claim
seems like a communist radical
To me from reading the bible
But what do I know
About God’s political views?
on the part of Sanders
would’ve been far
than her fealty
to Trump regardless
of anything he does.
It’s not like God
supports only Republicans;
our two-party system of democracy
would have been utterly foreign
to every single person
involved in creating the Bible.
Sanders also appears completely
unaware of how she’s making
a great case for atheism
by claiming that God hand-picked a man
who is at the center of a corruption
case to manipulate
his way into the White House.
Way to go Sara,
we atheists love this
When you prove your God is a hypocrite
Or that he probably does not really exist
Can you prove you spoke to God
What was the phone bill like
And does God even have a cell phone
If so does he have you on speed dial?
At least the corrupt kings in biblical times
were born into the position.
if God selected Trump
for the White House,
it surely means
He approves of the Trump administration
tearing babies from their families,
that’s in the bible right?
ignoring environmental disasters,
also, in the bible
stoking racial bigotry, in the bible for sure
withholding paychecks from workers
out of selfishness and spite,
Yep that is very Christian of him
and rewarding a man
who had multiple affairs
after marrying his third wife.
God does have a soft spot for adultery
Like King David after all
God putting Trump
in the White House
is about as solid a case
as you’ll ever find.
And again, I thank you
For making that case
Whenever you open
and say such stupid stuff
who do you think
you are fooling with that shit anyway?
Not that we didn’t know this before,
but Sanders basically confirmed,
in no uncertain terms,
that her religion
— and that of Trump supporters
— is Christian-flavored white nationalism.
And brown people are not invited to the party
Even though as far as far as we know
Jesus was a brown person
In the ancient middle east
Ain’t that a bitch
What do you say to that?
What I can’t hear you
God is laughing so hard