By
Jake Cosmos Aller
Author’s Note: these poems are about some of my spiritual encounters in my life. I am not a follower of any traditional religious tradition, sort of an agnostic Buddhist if there is such a thing. But neither am I an atheist. Perhaps the universe is alive and that is what we perceive as God? Who knows? I certainly do not.
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Index
Meeting God in a Lake
Cosmic Cat from Berkeley
Meeting God in Bombay
Cosmic Dog From Goa
Buddha Cat from Edsel Road
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These have been published, most recently in Hypertext in 2020.
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Meeting God in a Lake
In my 64 years around the sun
I encountered God four times
At least I thought it was God
But could never be sure
The first time I met God
I had taken magic mushrooms
And had gone to a lake
And soon was tripping inside my head
Lost in inner space
Zoning out tuning in
Dropping down the proverbial rabbit hole
And then in the middle of my madness
I felt oneness with the universe
My body melted away
And I joined the universe
All boundaries dropped away
And I knew that the universe was alive
and I was part of the Cosmos
And the Cosmos was part of me
And I wondered at that moment If I was face to face with God
I asked God to reveal himself to me
And nothing happened
Just laughter as the whole universe
Burst into laughter
And the madness began to fade
And I slowly came down from the high
And became aware of myself
And I was no longer one
With the universe
I felt profoundly moved by the experience
Felt that I had achieved perhaps nirvana
Or felt the presence of God
The feeling faded over time
And my quest to find God resumed
But I knew that I would never again
Come so close to the divine essence
Of the very Universe
The Cosmic Cat from Berkeley
I next encountered the divine
Many years later in Berkeley, California
I had gone home to be with my Mother
While taking leave from my job in the Foreign Service
I had two weeks there by myself
My wife came later near the end of the trip every morning
I woke up had coffee
Did yoga
Spoke to my mother
Who was sliding into dementia
Day by day losing her reason
Then I would go out
And explore the city
Go to a museum
Go to one neighborhood
And just be there
Rediscovering the Bay area
After years of being away
Having dinner with old friends
Seeing movies etc
Every morning a black cat came to visit
The cat was friendly and waited for me
And then would join me in my morning rambles
Following me to the bus stop
I started talking to the black cat
He looked at me with the spark of divinity In his dark eyes
I called him the cosmic cat
He seemed to like that
He would look at me
And I opened up to me
Told the cat all my dark secrets
As I walked the streets
Of the old neighborhood
Every morning and every evening the cat
Would be there to greet me
And to carry on our endless conversations
Then I had to leave
And in our final conversation I asked the cosmic cat
Say, Cat are you just a cat
Or are you a demonic cat
Are you possessed by God Or by Satan
The cat looked at me
And I realized that God
Was indeed residing in the cat
But that god was residing everywhere
All I had to do was open my mind
And the rest would follow
So I said
Goodbye to the cosmic cat
And he purred and came up to me
And I felt the comforting presence of the
Divine
As I said goodbye to the cosmic cat
And said goodbye to my mother
As this was the last time
That we would be able to really talk
I told my mother about the cosmic cat
She smiled and said that the cat was there for me and her
to comfort us both in our hour of need
and that the cat was indeed a cosmic cat
Talking with God in Bombay
Five years later
After I had last talked to God
In the form of the cosmic cat
Who I hung out with in Berkeley
I found myself in Bombay, India
Where I was involved with another women
And contemplating whether to leave my wife
For the promised excitement of the other women
I did not know what to do
So I went to Church
And on the way home
I stopped on the side of the road
And prayed to God
to provide me a sign
What should I do
I asked God
And then I felt it again
God seemed to be everywhere
And nowhere
And I found myself down
the rabbit hole again
I had a vision of an old man
Sitting by the side of a bed
Looking at an old women
And realized that
I was seeing the future
And the women
in my vision was my wife
And then I knew the answer
that God was giving me
I had to find my way
Back to my wife
And rekindle the love
that we shared
I looked up
and saw my wife’s face
In the sky
I went home and wrote
A long poem for my wife
She was in the military
And in Korea
And I was with the State Department
Stationed in Mumbai, India
And I called her up
And began talking to her
For the first time
In a long time
And I told her what was on my mind
And told her that we had to decide
Would we continue as a couple
Or would we continue to drift apart
Somehow I finished the conversation
And fell asleep with the peace and contentment
Of God’s presence filling my heart and soul
The feeling of being connected with God
Faded over the time
But the conviction that God had spoken to me
Never really left me
I asked God
whether God was the God of Jesus
Or Allah or Brahmin
And I realized
that God is God
And the universe is God and I am God
And that was the end of the story
And my last time I prayed to God
The Cosmic Dog from Goa
My final time with God
Happened a year later
I was staying down in Goa
With my wife
Enjoying being with her
After our reconciliation
We stayed at the Taj Mahal Goa
Living like a King and Queen
Just for a few days
High up on a hill
Overlooking the beach
Every morning I went
down to the beach
And did yoga by the water
While contemplating life
And every morning
I saw the same Dog
Not just a Dog
But a cosmic Dog
Filled with the divine spark of God
And the Dog recognized me
And spoke to me and I knew
That God was present once more
In the face of that cosmic dog
Kindred spirit
perhaps to the cosmic cat
that had saved my soul
in Berkeley so long ago
I told the dog everything
And he just looked at me
With those soulful eyes of his
And I knew he knew that I knew
That he was possessed by God
God had sent him to me
To make sure
that I was on the right path
That the reconciliation that God had promoted
Was on track that I was back with my wife
And that everything was the way it should be
Again I asked God
whether he was Jesus or Allah
Or Brahmin or Ganesh or Buddha
God the cosmic dog
just stared at me
I finally asked him directly
Say if you are God the God of Jesus
Bark once
The Dog looked at me and barked
I said well if you are
Allah bark twice
The dog barked twice
Well are you Buddha
then bark three times if yes
The God Dog barked three times
Hmm well are you Satan
The dog growled at me
And I knew I had gone too far
Finally, I was at peace
And for the next three days
The God Dog
was my constant companion
And I knew God for the final time
In my life
Buddha Cat of Edsall Road
I had another encounter
With the divine recently
Another Cosmic cat perhaps
Perhaps not
who knows what cats are
are they aliens
from another dimension
or was he channeling God ?
I called him the Buddha cat
For the cat loved
Sitting in a meditative pose
Not moving
Just starting at me
With his soulful deep eyes
Boring into my soul
exploring all my secret thoughts
the Buddha cat does not move
does not react, as he is so deep
into his interior mediation
truly in tune with the cat universe
and the cosmos as well
the Buddha cat
seems to be one with God
one with Buddha, Allah, Ganesh
and the billion names of God
Known and unknown
The Buddha cat can teach us all
About the art of meditation
As he zones inward
And loses his soul
Joining the cosmos
And becoming the Buddha cat
The Buddha cat
Lives in a modest Town house
In a modest suburb
The Buddha cat reminds us all
To look for God in the everyday
All around us
If we but have eyes
To see God everywhere
