Computer Poetry

desktop,business,internet,text,technology,horizontal,communication,world wide web

Microsoft How I Hate You

For thirty years I have had the Microsoft blues

For thirty years I have had a love-hate relationship

With my damn computer

I love it when it works as it advertised

I love it when the internet is fast and furious

I love it when my emails work

My Itunes work and my word works

But all too often

All I get is grief

It starts with the error messages

Written in a strange haiku-like language

That only computer geeks understand

Things like

General Failure reading disk drive

Begs the question who is this General Failure

And why is he reading my disk drive anyway?

Or my favorite

“Not responding” as the computer freezes up

For no apparent reason

Other than to fuck with my head

Sometimes my computer can’t find a printer

A printer that is connected to the computer

And one that they found five minutes ago

And the dreaded blue screen of death

That appears randomly

Dumping memory somewhere

And killing my computer slowly

As I watch in real time

Powerless to stop

How it eats all my work

That I have failed to back up

One day I counted how many times

I ran into computer errors

70 percent of the time when I open Microsoft

Something goes wrong

Sometimes I want to shoot my computer

Put it out of its misery

As I curse up a blue storm

The computer looks at me

With an evil grin

It continues to fuck with my head

Nothing but silence from it

And all the other computers in the world

They smile knowing that they have tortured me

Yet again

Mission accomplished.

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