photo of fake bacon

fake bacon and eggs

Poems about Fake Bacon and Eggs and other fake foods. Hmm hungry for the real thing yet?

Fake Eggs

I love real eggs
From real chicken

Preferably free range
Vegetarian fed,
No antibiotic feed

No hormones added
Non-caged chickens,
allowed to roam about

As God intended
them to do

Not locked up
In chicken coop hell


But now
We have so many choices

We can have fake eggs
Without any cholesterol
Or yoke

Tastes like real chicken eggs
At least they claim

But who knows what’s real
Any more

Can you trust
The chicken is real?

Fake Bacon

It seems that bacon
Has come back from the dead
And is everywhere these days

There is even bacon ice cream
Bacon whiskey
Bacon tacos

Yeah, I love bacon
But I don’t like the fake bacon

You can get beef bacon
Turkey bacon
Tofu bacon

All look like bacon
Taste like bacon
Cook like bacon
Seems to be bacon

But it is all sham
Nothing real about it

Just another fake healthy food
In a long line
Of fake food products

Designed to get our money
Out of our pockets
And into their greedy little arms

So, I resist
I want the real deal

I want bacon real bacon
With my real eggs

And if it means
I am fated

To die of a real heart attack
At least I will die
A real man

Fake Tea

Tea is another thing
That seems to be fake
These days

All sorts of fake herbal teas
Decafe teas
Tea substitutes

Tastes the same
Looks the same
But it is not the real deal

Not really a cup of tea
The British know a thing
Or two
About fake tea

Been complaining about tea bags
For centuries
And that was the first fake tea

110 Foods You’re Eating That Are Probably Fake

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