Poems About Fake Politics

these are my poems about “Fake Politics” part of my ‘Fake Things’ chapbook.

Fake Politics

Politicians often campaign
On the theme

That the world is fucked up
And they have the solution

When they don’t have
a fucking clue

Just another example
Of fake politics

Oftentimes a politician
Will pretend to be something

Other than they really are
Nothing but con artists

Like Donald Trump
Pretending that he is a devout Christian

When he never goes to Church
And is almost a poster child

of everything that Christianity
preaches against

and yet evangelical Christians
still claim that he is one of them

this is a prime example
of fake politics at work

Another prime example
The republicans blasted a huge hole

In the federal deficit
With their give away tax cuts to the wealthy

Now they claim
The only solution to the mess they created

Is to punish the poor and elderly
By taking away their social security

Almost throwing them on the street
Because they refuse to consider

Revisiting their tax cuts to the wealthy
That they did not need in the first place

And of course
No one would ever seriously

Look at the massive bloated
National security Defense budget

No, the only driver of the debt
Is entitlements

And the poor and elderly
Will have to pay

For the mistakes that they made
Yet another example of fake politics
 

Fake Solutions

Politicians love fake solutions
To real problems

President Trump’s Wall
Is a prime example

politician-build-wall-on-usa-border-674862604

It will do nothing to solve the underlying problems
All it will do is waste government spending

Creating a huge PR nightmare
That will last for years

It will not end illegal immigration
The immigrants will still come

Until the situation
in their home lands improve

And until the US reforms immigration
Making it a rational, human well thought out

Simple, and easy to use system
But that requires real thought

Real work
Political skill

And compromise
Which is a forbidden word these days

All of which are sadly lacking
In this world of fake politics

 
Fake Outrage

anne coulter queen of fake outrage

Both sides unfortunately
Are guilty of the fake outrage

The Republicans have perfected the art
Of creating false outrage

That they push out over the internet
And on FOX news 24/7

The underlying facts
Don’t matter at all

All that matters
Is stirring up the base

The recent caravan is a perfect example
There was no crisis

7,000 migrants were coming to the border
Fleeing violence in Central America

This was not the first caravan
Many caravans have come before

And before Trump and his acolytes
Turned on the fake outrage machine

No one had ever thought
That these caravans
Were a national security crisis

Overnight the caravan
Became this huge menace

This huge bogyman
Dangerous criminal aliens

And terrorists
And who know what else

Were attempting to invade
The U.S.

If we did not stop them
At the border

They would overrun the country
Infesting the country like vermin

Raping innocent woman
Robbing people

Killing people
Committing terrorist bombings

The only problem with this fake narrative

Is that none of it is remotely true
There was no crisis

The majority of the refugees
Were woman and children

Fleeing unimaginable violence
nightmarishly real

There were no criminals
Or terrorists among them

And our intel people knew this
Knew that the president

and his demented acolytes
Were lying their teeth yet again

Making a proverbial mountain
Our of a mole hill

The democrats
Have yet to figure it out

The perfect response
To the Donald is to mock him

Oh there goes Donald
Off his rocker again

Making a mountain
Out of a mole hill

There is no crisis
Everything is under control

Donald is just being unhinged again
Does not know what the fuck

He is doing or talking about
That should have been their response

In short
The democrats

Should have openly
mocked Trump

Pointing out yet again
The emperor has no clothes

Laughter is the best tackle
To deal with a clown like Trump

But the democrats
Have their own fake outages

Every day
Proclaiming Trump

To the be second coming of Hitler
And they are the resistance

Trump is not another Hitler
He is a con man, a grifter

Who someone conned 26 percent
Of Americans to vote for him

And we will survive him
And perhaps sanity will slowly return

But the fake outrage industry
Will probably continue

As we have all become addicted
To our latest outrage of the day
 
Fake President

In this day and age
Where fake things

Have replaced real things
And no one is real anymore

It is appropriate
That we have as our leader

A Fake President
The President appears to be human

But in reality
He is nothing but a fake

A con man
A huge grifter

Who ran as a successful business man
Who turned out to have been

Nothing but a con man
All his life

And the biggest con of all
Was becoming President

Where instead of acting Presidential
He spends his time

Plotting ways to make money
Out of his new found power

And plots with his buddy Putin
To destroy America

Hastening the terminal decline of America
And even risking a civil war

And yet this fake president
Can’t be removed from office

Because of all his enablers
His corrupt Republican Leaders

Who know he is a fake
Know he is a dangerous lunatic

Yet do nothing to remove him from power
And so it goes

Day by day
The rot sinks in

The America I grew up in
Is burning down

Led by the fake man
In orange

Cheering as the flames burn
And the US descends into chaos

And so, I close this poem
Crying as the US Dies

Under the leadership
Of our Fake President

 
Fake Humans – The Lizard People Take Over

Some people say
On the internet so it must be true

That the world’s leaders
Have been taken over

And are fake humans
From another planet

In reality
They are shape shifting aliens

Lizards from another planet
Draco or Sirius or the Dog Star

And some days
As I watch our fake President

Pretend to be President
As he mails it in

I wonder
Is he a shape shifting

lizard alien overload
That would explain a lot

And makes some sort of perverted logic
For in a world

filled with fake people
Having fake humans

Running the world
Is poetic justice

And as I close this poem
I look at the TV

And I swear
It is true

Our leaders are all fake humans
Shape shifting alien lizards

 
Merry Christmas, World, From Your Friend, President T.

President T
The greatest president
In the world

Who has gotten more done
Than any president before him

The smartest president in the world
Who had the best words
Of all Presidents

Who knew more about everything
Than any other President

Looked out at what he saw
In late December

And realized

He still had not yet achieved
His dream of building a great wall

To keep the brown people out
And America was not yet great again

Still too many libtards protesting
The fake media still screaming lies

Foreign governments still refusing
To obey his commands
+
He was the leader of the world
Did’nt they get that?

Ungrateful ingrates
Taking American money and jobs

At the direction of the damn Globalists
Who have infiltrated his own government

Hmm well he still had a few surprises
He would shut down the government

He would fire his generals
Bring the troops home

And wall street would rejoice
The stock market would bounce back

Congress would once again
Do their part

And pass his legislation
As he showed them

And the world
Whose was boss

And so,
President T

Gave his Christmas gift
To the grateful country

+++++++++++++++++++++++Shutting down the government
Firing the generals
Announcing he was pulling the troops back home

Cancelling all pending green energy reforms
Because Americans wanted to buy

Gas guzzling cars
their god given right after all

Now that we were the kings
Of energy again

Who gave a damn
About climate change

It was all a hoax
by the Chinese and the Global elites

And on Christmas eve
The market tanked

And the great depression loomed
And President T

Said this too will pass
Great things are about to happen

As I am President t
The greatest,

most beloved President
in history

as my friends Putin and Kim
assure me every day

Merry Christmas America
And to the rest of the world

Fuck you, too.
I hate you all.

And to all
A good night

God bless America
Make Russia Great Again 

Fake Adds

The world
Is awashed with fake ads

Can’t tell the difference
Anymore

Between the fake ad
And the real ad

Satire is Becoming Harder than Ever

Satire is becoming harder
And harder to pull off

The old adage
You can’t make this up

Becomes the only true thing
Left in a world of fake things

As this mad comedy of a realty show
Called the Presidency of President T

Careens out of control
I was arrested for Publishing Merry Christmas,

America from your favorite President, President T

I am charged with violating the Patriot act,
for giving aid and comfort to the nation’s enemies

for mocking the Presidency
in such a vulgar manner

and for insulting the honor
and dignity of the Presidency.

The President demands
that I be made an example of.

Something had to give.
The political comedians were out of control,

the writers were publishing
all sorts of vile lies.

I am arrested
and brought before the court.

My defense was simple.
Freedom of speech and freedom of press

I denied that I was slandering the President
I pointed out that most of the words I used

Were words that the President himself said
And I read from his speeches

And my lawyers cited supreme court precedents
one after another

And stated that there was no law in the US
banning satirical poetry, comedy or writing.

Now in many other countries
this might be considered offensive

and in some countries a crime.
But up until now the right of Americans

to make fun of their leaders,
yes to mock the rich

and powerful was a cherished
part of American life.

And there was no provision
in federal law

for cancelling a pension
because the President was offended

by a poem
or a piece of writing

written by an American.
in America

I could be denied a security clearance
or a federal job perhaps

but my pension could not be taken away
again under current Federal law.

So if President Trump
wanted to do all of these things

Congress would have to pass a law.

Perhaps the Make America Great Again
Shut the Critics Up law

like the alien and sedition laws
that the Supreme court ruled

were unconstitional?
in 1803

And this poem could not be considered
hate speech as I did not call the President names

or advocate violence against him.

All I did was mock his pretensions
that he was the greatest President

in the history of the world.
And of course the Supreme court

could rule that the first amendment
did not apply

when the President says it does not.

That of course would make them complicit
in ushering in a dictatorship.

For if Americans are forbidden from criticizing,
yes even mocking their leaders

then we have lost
all of our freedoms

Putting me on a no fly list
as a suspected terrorism

was also not permitted
as no where in my poem

did I advocate terrorism.

In my writing I am satirical
and provocative

but it is clear
that I love my country,

just want it to live up to its potential
and in that way America

could become great again.
And I did apologize

to the President
if he was personally offended.

I suggested that he look into his heart
and realize that he is not the greatest President

in the history of the world,
and make amends and ask forgiveness.

But he was the President
and he could do whatever he wanted to do

and I would continue
to exercise my first amendment rights

as long as the first amendment
was still intact.

The judge ruled
against the government

and I am ordered free
but the Judge warned me to be careful.

For now you are free
but in the future who knows?

The judge is pilloried
on right wing media.

My only response was to tweet
President T

I will meet you at your hamburger
joint of choice or a steak house

And buy you dinner
To say that I am sorry.

The President tweet back
Sorry I never eat dinner

With pathetic losers
like yourself

You may have won for now
But watch yourself

We may come after you
And your family

And your friends
And you followers

You have been warned
be very afraid

I tweet back
Thank you President T

You are the best President
In the whole history of the world, Not!

And I publish our tweets
Which infuriates the President

But soon he is dealing with impeachment
And the world soon forgets me

And my poetic
moment of glory