Microsoft Why I left You

why microsoft sucks

Dear Microsoft

I am writing to let you know why after years of putting up with shoddy software that does not work I finally have pretty much demanding Microsoft for good.  I have been using Microsoft word on a daily basis since about 1990 or so. I retired in 2016 from the Department of State as a foreign service officer.  Since retirement I have bene blogging, and writing poetry and fiction.  Up until six months ago I was writing my work using Microsoft word and keeping track of my submissions on Excel.  I finally gave up on both products after years of frustration. 

I will keep my subscription for now because I do need to have access to my documents and I do need to be able to submit the documents for publication in the Microsoft Word format.

I have sent many of my observations and complaints to Microsoft over the years but no one has ever bothered to follow up and your customer service is a nightmare.  Every time I call them they have not been able to answer my problems and generally make things worse.

The basic problem is that your software has too many bugs and doesn’t work I’ll just give you a specific example or two. 

50% error rate Un-acceptable

One week about a year ago after being frustrated that Microsoft word would frequently crash causing me to loose my work, I kept track of all errors during a one week period and concluded that about 50% of the time when I was using Microsoft word or Excel I encountered some kind of error usually just a temporarily “not responding” error that cleared up in a few seconds, but often times the software would crash requiring me to either reload it or sometimes reboot my computer.

Opening Microsoft in the morning if I had to reboot my computer would sometimes require me to wait 30 minutes before I could open Microsoft and often I would have 20 or 30 different versions of Microsoft opened accidentally while I was trying to open it. Then I would have to manually close each and every single document and each time I did that I would get a temporarily response error so many days it would take 30 minutes or so before I could get in to my documents and get to work.  This is clearly unacceptable.

Apple, Google Docs Always Work

Contrast this with “Apple pages” which I’ve started using for about six months. It opens every single time and I have yet to have a non-responsive error and never had any problems with it.  It does what it supposed to do and does it perfectly. It allows me to save documents to word and it open word documents.  Microsoft word of course does not allow me to open a document created in Pages. It does allow me to open a document created in Google docs though.

Excel Destroyed my Documents – For No Reason I Can understand

I had to give up on Excel as well.  About six months ago for some reason that I’ve never been able to figure out  Excel started to give me an error message every single time I tried to copy data into it from another program When I did that I got an error message saying that there were “too many fonts” being used and then I had the option of clicking OK and hoping that that would stop the error message.  usually I had to click Okay many times before it cleared up. One time I had to click okay message for four hundred times before it would clear and let me get back to my work. Excel would often just refuse to save any documents whatsoever and then I would have to reboot my computer and lose my data.

Tech Support Was Not Helpful

I contacted Microsoft repeatedly and nobody ever bothered to return a message and your online help function was useless and your automated chat bot never was able to figure out what I was talking about.  I did not call customer support because I figure it would have been useless waste of time. I even uninstalled and reinstalled the software and the error message continued.

I shifted to Google Docs and it is working wonderfully. Almost never have a problem.  and the font issue was never an issue.

Dictation Program  Produces Great Found Poetry

Finally your dictation program has never worked. I am using the Apple dictation program to write this letter it has a 95% success rate Microsoft dictation had a 25% success rate most of the time they produce gibberish. I did use that to create a number of found poems which I called Microsoft dictation poems. I sent poems to Microsoft but again nobody has ever responded.

I did call when I first installed the dictation program.  Nothing worked.  Microsoft tech support could not figure out that the problem was the the dictation program did not work with the internal speaker of a laptop. They told me to reformat my hard drive. I went to Best Buy and they told me that it does not work with a laptop and sold me an external microphone.  I bought an external speaker and then it worked but only 25% of the time did I get a clean copy, 75% of the time it produced gibberish.

To end on a positive note, your speech to text function did not work for a long time then one day it started working and once it started working, there as a 90% success rate.  This gives me hope that one day you will get the dictation program to work.

My plea to you sir is to get your software to work 95% of the time every single time I know that this may not be glamorous and I know this may not be seen as the direction of the company but I know that my experience is not unique and that most of your customers are very frustrated with your products and that is why more and more people are using products as such as Google Docs or Apple products because Microsoft word and excel just don’t work.  Please fix your Microsoft office suite products  – a 50% error rate it’s just not acceptable. 

I would be happy to follow up with anyone from Microsoft if they wish to talk to me about this but I do not think anybody will bother to respond I will post this on my blog, https://the world accordingtoCosmos.com  

I hope that you will take this constructive criticism into account and fix Microsoft office once and for all thank you

Jake Cosmos Aller

Ex-Microsoft customer

More Microsoft Found Poems

more found poetry

All night I felt
that last Internet space

I’m wondering About Future
and about me

And finally decided
Just focus I’m living day by day

Helping the best
Ashland I can be

I’m not Worry too much
About things I can’t control

Were home
Too many things to do

and I Well
Just him and I can eat
to do

And hopefully
The world make me laugh

yes again
I sound fun too

Another Found Poem

I wake up fully functional
Thinking out

My life so far
and how it is coming down

I have to rent
Thanks write down
which I have not done

But The most important thing in my life
Has been Mary Denture
That made all the difference
to my life

Shonisaurus
Hi Hey sis are watching
And I should be Happy

What’s my accomplishments

Not bad for a for a man
Who was born Disability
Amazon let me know my license

123
OK now I get your attention
I wanna go too sole

and Endgo

some and then being term
and then USA

and then Washington, DC
and then Baltimore

and then I wanna
will be with the idea being done
on the stand

will be OK enough tomorrow
I need to go to the house and 88 AM 988
just 8:00 AM.

The I am having a meeting with an array
annually and aHer
a OK on we’re going to talk

to a jester of two
come up with solutions

we need to two fans
and players

repaid the painting repairs
we are paying the bill

from both the house we’ve passed,
my treatment
we had the somewhat tainted drywall fixed

we have a new tenant
rules being new tenant

is a very good
10

I think
are we were making

very much you need to do better
to stop of studies

now me as Sarah
Mr. Allen not an island

is an error
that have a need

for an offense of offering Maisie’s
backing separate

from the public
often salad

End of the night
of the committee
of the ways

to hire the answer you
get a better

Microsoft Dictation trials Found Poem Three Inspection Report

Inspection report
meeting went well

met with him
only at age six

G P silver in the damage
is shown her

the news from the rear
and as well as shown
for the termite damage.

In the termite
go we had been a UGS

the basic questions of morality
and using this statement

denying them the answer
most questions

afterwards
we went outside
to take a picture

although the front porch
into I noticed

there was something
very strange looking

at the front porch
the pedestal

on the front porch
were quoted

so he headed
from facing the street

and in from the street
station house

the fed is still on
riding his meaning

to the eye
and that has left his leading

to the left
we noticed

there were cracks
in the forge:

long the foliage
including the crack
on in the front door

we also know
is that the doors

are at opening
in the awkward men

we also noticed
a big crowd

on the right side of the house
on in the mist
airways to the right baseline

we took a look
at the the souls in 141571413 1415
that this is an old event in 1413

left as to his meeting
in Ford’s 111415

in the right one
is even for now

we suspect that uses serious settlement issue
in that the house is cracking

on the house
in the house

is trying to balance
its closing the porch
this is just

what left
in the says
this is a serious issue

we are sending information
to a lawyer

asked his advice

before we can’t turn our
insurance for content and
Rescinded the new

we will go to the court
has to figure out the procedures

for the deal
gainst the key man
this evening

I hope to do some writing
style dictation

Poem Four Green Tree Death

Green tree

is in the Kingstown Property
in Alexandria

with her mother
and are tended to Jeff

my mother in the wall
is berating jobs for some reason

to handle
and tell my mother to calm down

as Jeff has a temper problem
job is getting very angry

Juppe pulls out a gun
and serves the shooting of my mother

the mall and should serve five or six times
in the head

my wife forays into a closet
and Hans hoping that jobs

will not find her
and she wonders

what would happen know
that her mother

in all my mother’s death
and the she wonders

what will happen

because im not there
at the time

and she fears Jeff
shooting in the wall

and that is the end
of the current in that age

Poem Five Telco One

Telco one
not until 5:00 PM
had objected

lack of will
come back
and go to some of actor dinner

will fix the car tomorrow
and work on my appeal

light work
and the appeal
denied me

to get on the other headphones
when we go to the own charm

on Thursday
will build

and Costco tomorrow
dictation is working

but still funky
but it will when it finally works

watch and at the showboat
Mr. Sunshine

before taking all along
that low energy

back to two long flight
stop dictation
of up to the line

Poem Six Late for Fate

Had a busy productive day Left late
And got 2 Mothers Doctors appointment

Almost an hour late
For my fate

Left it there
and went and got my dentures

Had lunch
Add my brother in law

Usual Tom chat Tom

Not bad
Went back to get mother

And then went to him once took a nap
My screen news today was interesting

Kim and moon went to beckton son
That was very interesting

to see kim and moon
impact Kim and moon impacting son

Where a lot of my eyes book
and almost finished it

Got some new novels out
To Stephen King short stories
and a Randy Wayne white

Credimi and rim dot Florida
novel those we nice

and Thomas doing
Also got some my music

Poem Seven Barriers Between Worlds Fall Apart

One night
The barriers between the various worlds
Bridgetown, Narnia, Oz, Earth, Mars

Anne People
for my eyes only

Find themselves wandering the streets
Off Thorth

People in the earth
find themselves wondering the street Ovas
And for one night only

All the animals
in earth wake up
in can speak

And they have a lot to say

24 hours total madness
All the barriers

between the various dimensions
break down

And then the worm hole disappears
and that down overwhelms
I put back to get

I am With the Wizard of Oz
Watching The breakdown
of The dimensional barrier of time and space

Afterwards I work with Glenda
To try to put A permanent Magical barrier

That would block the land of oz
From the rest of the world

But I’m afraid

That the knowledge of the house has gotten out
And that Too many people
are gonna want to find Oz

the impact of damn Packers
and talking animals

Continued to prepare for 8
And The world is well

Poem Eight  Lost in Oz

I am a friend of the shaggy man
And decide to visit him

following his secret dircections
I make it before he dies

and meet up with Ausma
Dorothy and the remaining Parts of her party

We March back to the Emerald city
And I am invited to Stan’s

Poem 11 On the Move

On the move
from an old friend of the shaggy man
and I and the it

owns polling
is seeking corrections

and I’m drawing
and one on one

with a home run
to the wizard

and working

and the crow
and on to win

their fight

to save one small one
from on the mission

Poem 11 Ancient Rome

And find myself in ancient Rome
I am in the emperial room

And I’m being driven to the streets
Annabelle again and Anna Pelican

I enjoyed me lemper
But I have many enemies
And I’m free

Poem 12 Transformations

I am asleep
And wake up

Last Ash change rooms
and found and I had been transformed
by my evil witch

Into a red Paul
I wondered

Should I tell Anne
I found that I was in August

Eventually I’ve met Glenda
the good Dan

Where is he
We jump start
to my original shape

I am in an coma
When the sun hits her ears

Make me go to munch on
Well I need

Poem 12 Visions of New Seoul

I am dreaming of a unified Korea
The Unified Korea capitol
will be called Han Seoul

Hey would me
High speed train links

Csullo Anne Canyon
And in China airport

So subway will be expanded
With lines on the way to penman

No new Capitol
movie build impounding

John patrick

hey a central business district
will be located In time

And a diplomatic quarter
will be located in Palmer John

which will be
This side of the new blue house

as well the new Capitol
with links to China

Poem 12 Love at First Sight

The the phenomenon of eight (hate) at first sight
is similar to the phenomenon of London (love at first sight)
for some it is in both cases

because in the prior life
one had human issues with those persons

and still need to be resolved
and you will fated

to meet them again and again and again

I really only had paid for site (hate at first sight)
once in my life

when I met on balls Dr. Baden
David Moran

We ran into each other
we hated each other

and first moment
when that a new course

he once tried to kick me
out of that foreign service
while acting behind my back

one evil despicable evening

Poem 13 alien invasion

The first encounter
with the aliens

was when the earth was invaded
by aliens were the size of children

they landed
and attacked everywhere

and eventually come they turn over most of the earth
and fluid

and the aliens
were very did not treat human beings

for an us
for human people cannot like they’re
and either by and a soldier on the first battle

and I capture
an evening in the alien
and we take it and

for interdiction (interogration)

the alien refuses to cooperate
and eventually dollars (dies).

Poem 14 Ozma’s Magic Book Reveals All

All (Osma) calls is looking
at her mentor (monitor)

it is a global
that shows everything in the land of oz,

distance an each is something
she cums to her friends

that they can have one meal
of firewalls arms

and they can look at the land of ours
by USA

and the images
they can pull out individual
and see what they are doing

are with us

when uses is as one of her many
till she has to watch

out what’s happening
in the levels

microsoft dictation found poems

End Found Poems

 

 

 

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