these are my poems about “Fake Politics” part of my ‘Fake Things’ chapbook.
Fake Politics
Politicians often campaign
On the theme
That the world is fucked up
And they have the solution
When they don’t have
a fucking clue
Just another example
Of fake politics
Oftentimes a politician
Will pretend to be something
Other than they really are
Nothing but con artists
Like Donald Trump
Pretending that he is a devout Christian
When he never goes to Church
And is almost a poster child
of everything that Christianity
preaches against
and yet evangelical Christians
still claim that he is one of them
this is a prime example
of fake politics at work
Another prime example
The republicans blasted a huge hole
In the federal deficit
With their give away tax cuts to the wealthy
Now they claim
The only solution to the mess they created
Is to punish the poor and elderly
By taking away their social security
Almost throwing them on the street
Because they refuse to consider
Revisiting their tax cuts to the wealthy
That they did not need in the first place
And of course
No one would ever seriously
Look at the massive bloated
National security Defense budget
No, the only driver of the debt
Is entitlements
And the poor and elderly
Will have to pay
For the mistakes that they made
Yet another example of fake politics
Fake Solutions
Politicians love fake solutions
To real problems
President Trump’s Wall
Is a prime example
politician-build-wall-on-usa-border-674862604
It will do nothing to solve the underlying problems
All it will do is waste government spending
Creating a huge PR nightmare
That will last for years
It will not end illegal immigration
The immigrants will still come
Until the situation
in their home lands improve
And until the US reforms immigration
Making it a rational, human well thought out
Simple, and easy to use system
But that requires real thought
Real work
Political skill
And compromise
Which is a forbidden word these days
All of which are sadly lacking
In this world of fake politics
Fake Outrage
anne coulter queen of fake outrage
Both sides unfortunately
Are guilty of the fake outrage
The Republicans have perfected the art
Of creating false outrage
That they push out over the internet
And on FOX news 24/7
The underlying facts
Don’t matter at all
All that matters
Is stirring up the base
The recent caravan is a perfect example
There was no crisis
7,000 migrants were coming to the border
Fleeing violence in Central America
This was not the first caravan
Many caravans have come before
And before Trump and his acolytes
Turned on the fake outrage machine
No one had ever thought
That these caravans
Were a national security crisis
Overnight the caravan
Became this huge menace
This huge bogyman
Dangerous criminal aliens
And terrorists
And who know what else
Were attempting to invade
The U.S.
If we did not stop them
At the border
They would overrun the country
Infesting the country like vermin
Raping innocent woman
Robbing people
Killing people
Committing terrorist bombings
The only problem with this fake narrative
Is that none of it is remotely true
There was no crisis
The majority of the refugees
Were woman and children
Fleeing unimaginable violence
nightmarishly real
There were no criminals
Or terrorists among them
And our intel people knew this
Knew that the president
and his demented acolytes
Were lying their teeth yet again
Making a proverbial mountain
Our of a mole hill
The democrats
Have yet to figure it out
The perfect response
To the Donald is to mock him
Oh there goes Donald
Off his rocker again
Making a mountain
Out of a mole hill
There is no crisis
Everything is under control
Donald is just being unhinged again
Does not know what the fuck
He is doing or talking about
That should have been their response
In short
The democrats
Should have openly
mocked Trump
Pointing out yet again
The emperor has no clothes
Laughter is the best tackle
To deal with a clown like Trump
But the democrats
Have their own fake outages
Every day
Proclaiming Trump
To the be second coming of Hitler
And they are the resistance
Trump is not another Hitler
He is a con man, a grifter
Who someone conned 26 percent
Of Americans to vote for him
And we will survive him
And perhaps sanity will slowly return
But the fake outrage industry
Will probably continue
As we have all become addicted
To our latest outrage of the day
Fake President
In this day and age
Where fake things
Have replaced real things
And no one is real anymore
It is appropriate
That we have as our leader
A Fake President
The President appears to be human
But in reality
He is nothing but a fake
A con man
A huge grifter
Who ran as a successful business man
Who turned out to have been
Nothing but a con man
All his life
And the biggest con of all
Was becoming President
Where instead of acting Presidential
He spends his time
Plotting ways to make money
Out of his new found power
And plots with his buddy Putin
To destroy America
Hastening the terminal decline of America
And even risking a civil war
And yet this fake president
Can’t be removed from office
Because of all his enablers
His corrupt Republican Leaders
Who know he is a fake
Know he is a dangerous lunatic
Yet do nothing to remove him from power
And so it goes
Day by day
The rot sinks in
The America I grew up in
Is burning down
Led by the fake man
In orange
Cheering as the flames burn
And the US descends into chaos
And so, I close this poem
Crying as the US Dies
Under the leadership
Of our Fake President
Fake Humans – The Lizard People Take Over
Some people say
On the internet so it must be true
That the world’s leaders
Have been taken over
And are fake humans
From another planet
In reality
They are shape shifting aliens
Lizards from another planet
Draco or Sirius or the Dog Star
And some days
As I watch our fake President
Pretend to be President
As he mails it in
I wonder
Is he a shape shifting
lizard alien overload
That would explain a lot
And makes some sort of perverted logic
For in a world
filled with fake people
Having fake humans
Running the world
Is poetic justice
And as I close this poem
I look at the TV
And I swear
It is true
Our leaders are all fake humans
Shape shifting alien lizards
Merry Christmas, World, From Your Friend, President T.
President T
The greatest president
In the world
Who has gotten more done
Than any president before him
The smartest president in the world
Who had the best words
Of all Presidents
Who knew more about everything
Than any other President
Looked out at what he saw
In late December
And realized
He still had not yet achieved
His dream of building a great wall
To keep the brown people out
And America was not yet great again
Still too many libtards protesting
The fake media still screaming lies
Foreign governments still refusing
To obey his commands
+
He was the leader of the world
Did’nt they get that?
Ungrateful ingrates
Taking American money and jobs
At the direction of the damn Globalists
Who have infiltrated his own government
Hmm well he still had a few surprises
He would shut down the government
He would fire his generals
Bring the troops home
And wall street would rejoice
The stock market would bounce back
Congress would once again
Do their part
And pass his legislation
As he showed them
And the world
Whose was boss
And so,
President T
Gave his Christmas gift
To the grateful country
+++++++++++++++++++++++Shutting down the government
Firing the generals
Announcing he was pulling the troops back home
Cancelling all pending green energy reforms
Because Americans wanted to buy
Gas guzzling cars
their god given right after all
Now that we were the kings
Of energy again
Who gave a damn
About climate change
It was all a hoax
by the Chinese and the Global elites
And on Christmas eve
The market tanked
And the great depression loomed
And President T
Said this too will pass
Great things are about to happen
As I am President t
The greatest,
most beloved President
in history
as my friends Putin and Kim
assure me every day
Merry Christmas America
And to the rest of the world
Fuck you, too.
I hate you all.
And to all
A good night
God bless America
Make Russia Great Again
Fake Adds
The world
Is awashed with fake ads
Can’t tell the difference
Anymore
Between the fake ad
And the real ad
Satire is Becoming Harder than Ever
Satire is becoming harder
And harder to pull off
The old adage
You can’t make this up
Becomes the only true thing
Left in a world of fake things
As this mad comedy of a realty show
Called the Presidency of President T
Careens out of control
I was arrested for Publishing Merry Christmas,
America from your favorite President, President T
I am charged with violating the Patriot act,
for giving aid and comfort to the nation’s enemies
for mocking the Presidency
in such a vulgar manner
and for insulting the honor
and dignity of the Presidency.
The President demands
that I be made an example of.
Something had to give.
The political comedians were out of control,
the writers were publishing
all sorts of vile lies.
I am arrested
and brought before the court.
My defense was simple.
Freedom of speech and freedom of press
I denied that I was slandering the President
I pointed out that most of the words I used
Were words that the President himself said
And I read from his speeches
And my lawyers cited supreme court precedents
one after another
And stated that there was no law in the US
banning satirical poetry, comedy or writing.
Now in many other countries
this might be considered offensive
and in some countries a crime.
But up until now the right of Americans
to make fun of their leaders,
yes to mock the rich
and powerful was a cherished
part of American life.
And there was no provision
in federal law
for cancelling a pension
because the President was offended
by a poem
or a piece of writing
written by an American.
in America
I could be denied a security clearance
or a federal job perhaps
but my pension could not be taken away
again under current Federal law.
So if President Trump
wanted to do all of these things
Congress would have to pass a law.
Perhaps the Make America Great Again
Shut the Critics Up law
like the alien and sedition laws
that the Supreme court ruled
were unconstitional?
in 1803
And this poem could not be considered
hate speech as I did not call the President names
or advocate violence against him.
All I did was mock his pretensions
that he was the greatest President
in the history of the world.
And of course the Supreme court
could rule that the first amendment
did not apply
when the President says it does not.
That of course would make them complicit
in ushering in a dictatorship.
For if Americans are forbidden from criticizing,
yes even mocking their leaders
then we have lost
all of our freedoms
Putting me on a no fly list
as a suspected terrorism
was also not permitted
as no where in my poem
did I advocate terrorism.
In my writing I am satirical
and provocative
but it is clear
that I love my country,
just want it to live up to its potential
and in that way America
could become great again.
And I did apologize
to the President
if he was personally offended.
I suggested that he look into his heart
and realize that he is not the greatest President
in the history of the world,
and make amends and ask forgiveness.
But he was the President
and he could do whatever he wanted to do
and I would continue
to exercise my first amendment rights
as long as the first amendment
was still intact.
The judge ruled
against the government
and I am ordered free
but the Judge warned me to be careful.
For now you are free
but in the future who knows?
The judge is pilloried
on right wing media.
My only response was to tweet
President T
I will meet you at your hamburger
joint of choice or a steak house
And buy you dinner
To say that I am sorry.
The President tweet back
Sorry I never eat dinner
With pathetic losers
like yourself
You may have won for now
But watch yourself
We may come after you
And your family
And your friends
And you followers
You have been warned
be very afraid
I tweet back
Thank you President T
You are the best President
In the whole history of the world, Not!
And I publish our tweets
Which infuriates the President
But soon he is dealing with impeachment
And the world soon forgets me
And my poetic
moment of glory